You Are My Sunshine

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine
You make me happy
when skies are gray...

This song immediately came to mind when I saw these shoes! I was even discreetly humming the tune while I was trying them on and I can imagine myself skipping gaily if only I was alone. Hahaha. I felt happier just looking at them, so I told myself, "I must have these no matter what!" Ofcourse, myself cannot argue because in matters like this no one dares to get in my way, plus I hold the magic plastic card anyway. By the way, I am NOT (yet) a shopaholic. They are actually a good buy, considering they are comfortable, cute and inexpensive. I'd rather not say "cheap" because it is rude to call someone or something that. Am I being too defensive? Ok, I just wanted to make that clear, not a shopaholic. :-P

Lately, my color preferences are leaning more towards sunshiny and colorful shades. Perhaps it's psychological... you know, trying to make myself happy with colors. Though, as far as I can remember, blue has been my all-time favorite, then, I started to like white... then, orange... green... black... purple... and now yellow.

I did a bit of research about colors and here's what I found:

Yellow (http://desktoppub.about.com/cs/colorselection/p/yellow.htm)

Hope and Happiness:
Yellow is sunshine. It is a warm color that, like red, has conflicting symbolism. On the one hand it denotes happiness and joy but on the other hand yellow is the color of cowardice and deceit.

Nature of Yellow:
Yellow is one of the warm colors. Because of the high visibility of bright yellow, it is often used for hazard signs and some emergency vehicles. Yellow is cheerful.

Culture of Yellow:
For years yellow ribbons were worn as a sign of hope as women waited from their men to come marching home from war. Today, they are still used to welcome home loved ones. Its use for hazard signs creates an association between yellow and danger, although not quite as dangerous as red.

If someone is yellow it means they are a coward so yellow can have a negative meaning in some cultures.

Yellow is for mourning in Egypt and actors of the Middle Ages wore yellow to signify the dead. Yet yellow has also represented courage (Japan), merchants (India), and peace.

Purple, on the other hand, is royalty and is associated with both nobility and spirituality. Dark purple can evoke gloom and sad feelings though, perhaps that is why it is the color of mourning in Thailand. Frankly speaking, I have been mourning for so long now and I am so tired of it already (I guess even my friends would agree to that - a thousand times!). I do not want to be forever in this state either, and if leaving my mourning is as easy as switching color preferences, I would gladly embrace yellow without any argument, no questions asked, no hesitation. But sadly, it isn't as easy as that...

But God is good, He provided rays of sunshine that surround me both in good and bad times, my loved ones and those who never ceased loving me (you know who you are). I know sometimes you also get tired of this "me in mourning" and would want the "old Pam" back. Believe me, I miss the her too, very much. I know I owe it all to you and to myself to get back on my feet and continue living my life. I know too that you know it's not an easy feat. I won't promise to be the old me again tomorrow when I wake up, but I promise I will get there... but please bear with me if it is taking some time. And though I haven't reached that point yet, I just want to say to all of you... thank you for being there, for just being you and for being my sunshine!

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away...