Imperfectly Whole

Another year over, another year ahead. Last year was a very difficult year, not only because of the economic crisis and career setbacks that seemed to affect almost everyone, but because it has been the most trying year for me, personally. So many things happened, most of them unexpected and painful.

Looking back, I cannot help but wonder what have I done to deserve this? Where did I fail? What did I do wrong? What did I miss? I am quite sure there were already signs and clues long before all these happened, but maybe I was just too engrossed with other things that I failed to see them... Or was I too blind? Or did I intentionally shun myself from seeing the truth? Was I living a lie? I do have regrets. Selfish it may be, but I do wish I could have done things differently if it meant not having to go through this pain. There are times when I wish I could erase that year forever, forget and bury it deep into the recesses of my mind until they are forever lost and forgotten. But we all know too well that cannot happen, never will be. We only live once and there is no rewind button to life. Whether we like it or not, we will always be faced with trials and our actions/decisions will always bear a consequence, some of which we might not even like. But like they always say, life goes on and so must we... now, if only that is easier done than said...

Failures and disappointments are not easy to accept, especially if they break down the walls of our comfort zone and break us into pieces, eventually. And once broken, we cannot be re-built as we were before. But that does not mean we cannot be re-built ever again, I guess we still can be... With God on our side and the love and support of our loved ones, family and friends... we owe it to ourselves to pick up our broken selves, move on and make ourselves whole again... Imperfect but whole, adorned with the cracks and chips courtesy of our experiences and the lessons of life... but better, wiser and stronger than before. Maybe that is the beauty of it. Imperfectly whole...

I think I like that. :)